Part of our ongoing series about life with CFS.
I am becoming more aware of how little it takes to upset my physical equilibrium.
My physical therapist has given me a home program that requires a certain level of activity every other day. Last week's IBS had such a strong effect on my overall energy level that I missed two days of the program. Even after twelve years of living with CFS, I am still amazed at the fragility of my equilibrium.
I keep records of my daily activity, symptoms and medication. The more detailed my record keeping becomes, the more fragility I see. Anything can upset the equilibrium. Bad news, an IBS flare, too long a wait time in the doctor's office - those are just a few examples. If I'm lucky, it only takes a few days to get back to "normal." Sometimes though, it can take months.
I see my equilibrium for what it is: a teeter-totter at the point of balance. Even the weight of a small bird can tip it in one direction or another. So what do I do? In order to protect this fragile balance, I would have to avoid unpredictability. It would be easy to take that to an extreme. Do I avoid talking to people on the phone? Do I carry food with me, and only eat what I am able to cook for myself? Do I limit my activity to that small amount I can easily tolerate, and never go to the movies or dinner at a friend's?
Or is it worth tipping the teeter-totter in order to enjoy a little more of life?