Saturday, October 06, 2007

Not Celebrating Today

Part of our ongoing series on life with CFS.

Thirteen years ago, I walked into a brick wall. Actually, I was walking happily next to the wall when it gathered itself up and jumped on me.

Thirteen years ago, I went to work with a sore throat. By mid-morning, I could barely swallow. When I left work that afternoon, the sore throat had mushroomed into fever, dizziness, headache, weakness and aches so bad that it felt like being hit with a baseball bat. I took home a briefcase full of work, but I spent the next three days sleeping. I don’t even remember if I left my apartment. The following Monday, I went to my doctor. He said I had a virus and to call him in two weeks if I didn’t feel better.

That was thirteen years ago. That was the day CFS moved in to my life.

This blog is about coping with CFS. Noricum and I created Travels with Swatchy so that I could symbolically accompany friends and family on the adventures that CFS has taken from me. But for me personally, October 6th is not about coping and it is certainly not about celebrating. Today I try to remember what I felt like on October 5, 1994: my last day as a healthy person.

4 comments:

chiromama said...

::hug::

Celeste said...

((knittah)) love & hugs from Celeste & Hugz.

Vickie said...

Well, 10 minutes ago, I was browsing Ravelry, having received my invite 2 weeks ago. Via Brenda Dayne's group I landed in the Travels with Swatchy group, then here. Now, I'm sitting here crying.

I haven't ever read anyone describe so precisely what happened to me - having a brick wall fall on me - a perfect analogy. I went to bed one day healthy. Woke up the next morning in pain, and have had paid all day every day ever since (except for one mysterious 3-week period at the end of my first year of illness). Other symptoms came after the pain, but the pain is what make August 7th 2003 and the days since then so different from the days preceding it.

Thank you for sharing your story and having the Ravelry group. I don't think I ever realized before that I don't have any friends who have any idea what has happened to me (although they are wonderful friends and do so much for me). I never missed it because I didn't know it existed. Now, I'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face because I realize that 1) such friends exist, and 2) that maybe I have found them.

(I am Turtleknits on Ravelry. I have no idea how Blogger works.)

Devon said...

((((HUGS)))) My thoughts are with you all the time!